Random Lines

I woke up today feeling very melancholy. While I was at work, a couple lines popped into my head. They are very sad and emo-esque, but some of the more creative things I think of are of that nature. Oh, well. Sue me.

The constant barrage of self-esteem crushing words have finally taken its toll.
I have spent years constructing my ego, it took you weeks to destroy my soul.
You tore down my walls to peer to my insides.
You took out my insides to get to my pride.
I used to be so tall
and this endless tag team has diminished my will.
I feel so small when you are around.
In your inifinite wisdom, don't you recognize this sound?

What will it take for you to surrender?

Queen Had It Right After Twenty-Nine Minutes

This one is quite recent. I wrote it a little over a year ago when my only real relationship was falling apart...or even already fallen. It has a lot of terrible feelings all wrapped into it. It capped off my whole depression after the break-up. It is nice to have this piece as a chronicle.

The title is referring to Queen's album "A Night at the Opera," where the song "Love of my Life" starts.

Queen Had It Right After Twenty-Nine Minutes

The clouds have rolled in
The sun has disappeared
I’ve searched for the way to be there
Have I been wrongly steered?

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

The angels have escaped the heavens
The weeds have grown over the gates
I can feel it coming in the air
The world is upside down

I’ve waited two decades for you
I’ve waited four weeks for you
I’ve waited ten minutes for you
I’m done waiting



The happiness has drained from my body
This is my remainder
A mere shadow of a man
I used to be whole

Imagine this face never crying
It seems ridiculous
Imagine this face never smiling
A bit more real

Where does my heart belong?
Br oke n? Tor n ap art? Rip ped t o shre ds?
Is this what falling feels like?
A simple freefall?

My coffee runs cold
My cigarettes have burned to the filter
My heart is tired and
I pray for sleep

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

You represent everything innocent
But I am the innocent one
Bubbles and cake have a new meaning
Do they belong to children?

The moon is eclipsed
It has never burn brighter
The sun has exploded
It’s beauty has disintegrated

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

These clove shards cut my lungs
This drink is spiked
I bleed out
This drink is spiked

The dance is almost over
My legs ache but I continue to dance
May I ask this question?
It’s too soon

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

(Is 300 hundred enough to tell how it feels?)

Shapeshifter

Last year, I found a small snippet, a chorus, if you will, and just the note "put her name in it" in my Word documents. This piece had not been modified since 2003. I can only imagine who this is about...a past band member? Yes. So, when I found this, I re-wrote the chorus and wrote some verses. (Can you find her name in the words?)

I had never really liked this piece. It has always seemed very rushed to me. Both parts, the newest and the latest. Alas, I have been infatuated with the concept of desiring to change yourself so much, that you are able to shift your physical self. The sheer willpower of man is strong and beautiful thing.

Shapeshifter

She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you her heart.
She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you your heart.

Beating you down with all she knows
She is only folklore
A figment of my blank stares

It’s just like choking
Gone in a cloud of smoke
Decapitate me and let me see your deceit

She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you her heart.
She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you your heart.