Words from a Crazy Man's Brain

Country

2010-09-01T15:10:00.002-04:00

Chorus?

Base note decending: C-B-A-G while maintaining D,G on strings B,E
x4
I see you over there standing in the moonlight
And I can't get you out of my sight.
I see you over there standing in the sunshine
And I can't help but read your mind.

Verse?

Pick up to held G from chorus (G-F#-) E - A7 - G - C - G x4

You are beautiful and stunning, it won't stop
My brain is running, it's about to pop
Your eyes shine like diamonds, blinding me.
Sparkling by the thousands, finding me.

The Insanity Plea

2010-05-08T22:23:00.003-04:00

I have made sure that if I ever think of a line or lyric, I write it down immediately. This has caused me to accumulate quite the number of scrap papers with almost gibberish on it. So this is a collection of individual thoughts composed together, with a little tweaking. Hopefully, it's not too disjoint.

The Insanity Plea

If these are your peers,
you'll go away for years.
You've got files on me,
but I've got miles on you.

I can muster up this smile
just to show face.
I can catch up on sleep
to be in your good grace.

You're the judge and the jury
but I'm the executioner.
The decision is still out on you
You can't understand me, I'm a blur.

You sing it loud, sing it proud
You keep your head in the clouds.
You blinked and you missed
your case is dismissed.

You're stealing glances
You stole my breath
You stole my heart
Do you want the rest?

You're the judge and the jury
but I'm the executioner.
The decision is still out on you
You can't understand me, I'm a blur.

Take a Deep Breath

2010-05-08T22:06:00.003-04:00

This is a poem I wrote in the style of the great Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven." I used the same rhyme scheme that he used in that masterpiece. In case, you're wondering (including internal rhyming)...AA, B, CC, CB, B, B.

Take a Deep Breath

“Will you take these and shoot the breeze?”

He said with a sense of urgent need

I gazed with my sockets and placed it in my pocket

I took it with shock, “What is it that I see?”

“Put it deep away and away from me”

“I need to know what I took,” I sadly plea.

“Do not fret friend, it is not the end.

You will take these cards upon which I drew

the very same date you will meet your fate.”

“One moment I cannot wait, to see when I am through!”

Into and out of my pocket my hand rapidly flew

Was everything this man had just said true?

The time before me, “We shall surely see,”

I added to his eyes attempting to abandon post.

He barely muttered, “Be not afraid and do not shudder,

You will soon udder your last words to boast.”

“Do not leave me now when I need you the most.”

He silently vanished as if he were always a ghost.

I stormed across the cards, flying up my guard.

These pointless shards read nothing of importance.

The back of my mind began prying, was he even lying?

Embrace the act of dying, or just a crazy mind’s dance?

I took a deep breath and what could be my last glance

“Midnight tonight,” I repeated in trance.

“Will you take these and shoot the breeze?”

The man had said with a sense of urgent need

If I had cried, “step aside,” and only kept my lonely stride

I would have barely tried to make myself unread.

I spent twelve months holding the cards tense and worried.

On the anniversary, at midnight, my body was buried.

Tramp

2010-03-24T18:14:00.003-04:00

Wandering these streets, the shadows twirl around me.
I pleaded for them to untwist.
They responded,
"Why don't you turn?"

Wandering these streets, my reflections chase me.
I pleaded for them to leave.
They responded,
"Why don't you join?"

The shades are drawn, but the figures dance like ghosts trapped in white.

Reading Minds

2010-02-05T12:00:00.003-05:00

I have always thought that I have a slight psychic ability. At the very least, I can read people well. That is what sparked the idea for this song. The verses show a progression of a relationship and how the man can 'read the mind' of the female based on movements and slight quirks that some women do. The first verse is the beginning of the two of them. The second verse is the relationship getting more serious and the final verse is both of them realizing it is over. (Notice the last chorus in past tense.)

Reading Minds

The way you look at me, I can read your mind
Your eyelashes are working over time
Your lips trembling, making it clear
Curiosity is in the back of your eye
I will kiss you

If you could read me like I read you
You'll see I only speak the truth
This love you feel was always free
I have you and you have me

The way you look at me, I can read your mind
Those averted gazes are just fine
I live to hear those unsaid thoughts
Will we form from just you and I?
I will love you

If you could read me like I read you
You'll see I only speak the truth
This love you feel was always free
I have you and you have me

The way you look at me, I can read your mind
Your down stares tell me your lines
Please don't say the words you think
I read you, but only memories I find.
I will miss you

If you could've read me like I read you.
You would know I only spoke the truth
That love you felt was meant to be free
I had you but you lost me.

Walk

2010-02-05T11:52:00.002-05:00

I have had lyrics pouring out of me lately and I wrote this in about 15 minutes. The concept is a late night walk between two young people, maybe having just met or maybe relatively new companions and the awkwardness that situation ensnares.

Walk

I'm counting the streetlights
It's all I can do
Now out on this long road
Starin' at my shoes

Hand in hand walking ou cares away
Hand in hand we're walking away

The skyline reaches high
Towering above the rest
My hopes and fears are numbered
larger than this addresss

Hand in hand watching our fears fly by
Hand in hand we're watching it fly

The night air breathes cold
I'm blowin' out smoke
My mouth stifles these words
They come out as a choke

Hand in hand talking through the night
Hand in hand we're talking tonight

Sui generis

2010-01-22T02:55:00.002-05:00

This is something new and happier than most. I have recently stumbled across a new muse and it has provided me with a light heart. Hooray!

Sui generis
Unique is a word that gets thrown around
So often, it has become the norm
The meaning is lost like words with no sound
Washed away in these typical storms

This looks breaks through conventionality
You brim with trendsetting wealth
You have upset the social feng shui
You surprise even yourself

When people look back at these lost, sad years
They will see the world has grown duller
But I'll looks back at you with great revere
And see your face speckled in technicolor

Why do rainbows look pale in your light?
Compared to you, it is nothing to see
Why do sunsets try to fight
your beauty, unsuccessfully?

I spell unique with only four letters
Although some may disagree
Seeing you makes my days better
Come and be different with me

Random Lines

2010-01-14T15:42:00.004-05:00

I woke up today feeling very melancholy. While I was at work, a couple lines popped into my head. They are very sad and emo-esque, but some of the more creative things I think of are of that nature. Oh, well. Sue me.

The constant barrage of self-esteem crushing words have finally taken its toll.
I have spent years constructing my ego, it took you weeks to destroy my soul.
You tore down my walls to peer to my insides.
You took out my insides to get to my pride.
I used to be so tall
and this endless tag team has diminished my will.
I feel so small when you are around.
In your inifinite wisdom, don't you recognize this sound?

What will it take for you to surrender?

Untitled (Retitled)

2010-01-14T15:32:00.002-05:00

I wrote this song a few months ago. I put my self in the shoes of someone who feels incomplete (with a little of my own life experiences thrown in for good measure).

Untitled (Retitled)
We are outlines of songs to a demo
Underdeveloped film in the studio
Empty shells of former humans
Unfinished masterpieces

We are scared to be completed
Content in being beaten
We never want the first space
It's easier to blame from second place

We are remnants of our former selves
A run-down house with ransacked shelves
We are clouds that refuse to rain
We are songs with no refrain

I am Satan and I can't take this heat
A town with torn up streets
I am forced to hope I am something I am not
I am Satan and it's fucking hot

Our eyes are glazed over to the prefect ending
Our minds our blocked to our methodic mending

We are unwritten songs on a demo
Underdeveloped film in the studio
Empty shells of former humans
Unfinished...

Torrente Sanguineo

2009-08-17T14:44:00.004-04:00

New song, unsure of it yet. Ended up coming out a little too emo...yikes!

Torrente Sanguineo
The way you get under my skin
The way the anger rushes in
The way you flock to the rest
The way everything was a test

You discolor my arms with your words
Your bruises run deep in these broken veins
It's not enough to just be alive
It's left in your hands to heal these pains

Your face runs across this bloodstream
A face, now only in dreams
This is my end and only your start
At last I know you are still in my heart

Monarch Beauty

2009-04-29T15:58:00.002-04:00

This song is about that very special feeling that is associated with love. I love love.

Monarch Beauty

These butterflies eat my worries of being alone
They spawn the love that I thought was gone
They travel up my arm to my shaking hands
They travel to my head, take me away to far off lands...

Lands where,
You and I run and play
In the sun all day
Laugh and talk
Kiss and walk
Dance and sing
Share everything
Nothing matters, except you and me.

They begin as some unknown feelings
They make it alright for this heart to start healing
They make me think of you all the time
You and them have taken my mind...to...

Lands where,
You and I run and play
In the sun all day
Laugh and talk
Kiss and walk
Dance and sing
Share everything
Nothing matters, except you and me.

It is time to run away.
Let me take you far from this place.
You and I, we'll start today.

Day Zero

2009-04-29T15:49:00.003-04:00

I wrote this song on the first day on fall semester. I was sitting in between classes just people watching. I began to have all of these lines pop into my head. With a little rearrangement, they turn out pretty good. I think it tells the story of the first days of the first years of college, that frightened, worried, unsure feeling whether or not you will graduate...and when for god sakes?

Day Zero

The footsteps pound like a million raindrops
Wide eyes search for their numbers
Spokes litter the ground
How can this take so long?

Mumbled words are spoken to no one
Fright fills the air
Thousands are lonely, together
Desperate to make connections

Styles fade as fast as hair color
Destinations close in as hearts beat faster
Stairs move under the feet to the invisible pace
We haven't even begun

How will day one start?
Will days ten and twenty be better?
When will infinity save us?
Will we survive?

It's up to us, it's up to us.

Variations on a Theme

2009-02-20T23:26:00.003-05:00

Again this is about 'Blue Sky.' This was more of a remembering-the-good-days-spliced-with-the-reality-of-the-situation poem. So the last item in the triad of each line is the reality, obviously. It is actually interesting reading this because part way through reading I think, "we did have some good times," but, by the end of reading it, I am thinking, "damn, that ended in a disaster of emotions, bleh." Have at it:

Variations on a Theme

I remember…
The way you looked, the way you smelled, the way you were bad for me.
I remember…
The way you laughed, the way you smiled, the way you stared through me.
I remember…
The way you walked, the way you talked, the way you walked away from me.

I remember these simple variations on a theme.
I remember these words you used to mean.

Your eyes, they burned bright, brighter than the sun
Your thoughts, they flickered from me, escaped on the run

I remember…
The way you cared, the way you stared, the way you ignored my call
I remember…
The way you fought, the way you taught, the way you never broke my fall
I remember…
The way you loved, the way you kissed, the way we hit that wall

I remember these simple variations on a theme.
I remember these words you used to mean.

For You

2009-02-20T23:17:00.005-05:00

I wrote this song as a Valentine's Day present for my ex-fiance. And she was my ex at the time, ay-yi-yi! I was head over heels for that chick. Anyways, I continue with my extreme analogy of "Blue Sky" because that was her nickname (taken from 'Goodbye Blue Sky' by Pink Floyd). I was a very strong metaphor that I loved and that is easily manipulated into any form. It can be bad (rain), troubled (cloudy), clear (perfect), etc. When I sat down to write this, I though, what happens when you love? What makes me feel 'love' inside? And these are the things I came up with: pulse, heartbeat, memorizing her face, blah blah blah.

For You

My heart beats red for the blue in your eyes

I can trace your lines and fight off your cries

My pulse, it races with the thought of your touch

It all adds up to too much

I love you
Forever this will be true
I love you
Today my skies will be blue (x2)

The moment you smile my heart melts away

My blood it boils with every step you take

I can feel your curves and love you for good

I just wish we could

(Spoken) :
With every moment that I do think of you, my world turns bright. I can imagine every inch of your perfectly, right down to the beautiful lines tracing your stunning face. If only everyone could see how beautiful you are, you would be a star.

I love you
Forever this will be true
I love you
Today my skies will be blue (x2)

Queen Had It Right After Twenty-Nine Minutes

2009-01-22T15:03:00.003-05:00

This one is quite recent. I wrote it a little over a year ago when my only real relationship was falling apart...or even already fallen. It has a lot of terrible feelings all wrapped into it. It capped off my whole depression after the break-up. It is nice to have this piece as a chronicle.

The title is referring to Queen's album "A Night at the Opera," where the song "Love of my Life" starts.

Queen Had It Right After Twenty-Nine Minutes

The clouds have rolled in
The sun has disappeared
I’ve searched for the way to be there
Have I been wrongly steered?

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

The angels have escaped the heavens
The weeds have grown over the gates
I can feel it coming in the air
The world is upside down

I’ve waited two decades for you
I’ve waited four weeks for you
I’ve waited ten minutes for you
I’m done waiting

The happiness has drained from my body
This is my remainder
A mere shadow of a man
I used to be whole

Imagine this face never crying
It seems ridiculous
Imagine this face never smiling
A bit more real

Where does my heart belong?
Br oke n? Tor n ap art? Rip ped t o shre ds?
Is this what falling feels like?
A simple freefall?

My coffee runs cold
My cigarettes have burned to the filter
My heart is tired and
I pray for sleep

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

You represent everything innocent
But I am the innocent one
Bubbles and cake have a new meaning
Do they belong to children?

The moon is eclipsed
It has never burn brighter
The sun has exploded
It’s beauty has disintegrated

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

These clove shards cut my lungs
This drink is spiked
I bleed out
This drink is spiked

The dance is almost over
My legs ache but I continue to dance
May I ask this question?
It’s too soon

This is my plea
These are my desires
I want my sunny weather
I want my Blue Sky

(Is 300 hundred enough to tell how it feels?)

Good Morning, Good Night

2008-12-28T22:53:00.004-05:00

I wrote this piece in one sitting. It took me about 10 minutes. It is about the most amazing night of my life. That night I got to share a bed (not sexually) with A-S. We stayed up for a long time and shared a series of beautiful moments that are permanently burned in my mind. Her eyes are always there. This story was then spun off into part of Sprung and Insert Romance Here. I love this story.

Good Morning, Good Night

The night grew cold outside, but the bodies grew warm. Only whispers could be heard as the copious amounts of intoxication ran ramped through their bodies. One, clearly attached, struggled internally, but showed no signs of boundaries, while the other chatted quietly, “May I?” The answer, always the same, kept the feelings moving. He could only want more. He didn’t dare say more. More was thought, more was expressed. Tired eyes closed and tired bodies limped.

The one thought left in his mind was the thought that would hold on for life, the look of her beautiful eyes glimmering in the pale candle light. These eyes, unlike any other, glistened and danced the entire night. Seemingly, they sparkled only for him. In the back of his pensive mind, he knew that they would indeed sparkle for others, but this, this flicker of beauty, was his. No other flash of light could compare. Not a super nova, not a star. Not the sun, not the moon. Bodies were pressed tight, although still warm from clothes. It could not get any warmer, and yet, the two grasped tighter. He could not believe this was happening to him. The girl only dreamed, share the same air.

Her heart beat only for him, and his for her. They beat in syncopation. Thump, Thu-thump. The pounding of the one collective heart beat drove him to his own world. This world was no more once all was raised and the sun poked its head above the plain.
Good morning, good night.

Shapeshifter

2008-12-26T10:23:00.006-05:00

Last year, I found a small snippet, a chorus, if you will, and just the note "put her name in it" in my Word documents. This piece had not been modified since 2003. I can only imagine who this is about...a past band member? Yes. So, when I found this, I re-wrote the chorus and wrote some verses. (Can you find her name in the words?)

I had never really liked this piece. It has always seemed very rushed to me. Both parts, the newest and the latest. Alas, I have been infatuated with the concept of desiring to change yourself so much, that you are able to shift your physical self. The sheer willpower of man is strong and beautiful thing.

Shapeshifter

She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you her heart.
She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you your heart.

Beating you down with all she knows
She is only folklore
A figment of my blank stares

It’s just like choking
Gone in a cloud of smoke
Decapitate me and let me see your deceit

She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you her heart.
She’s a shape shifter.
She’ll show you your heart.

Insert Romance Here

2008-12-22T14:43:00.005-05:00

The last piece's underlying theme is this piece's central focus. A-S is a perfect subject for a love/love-lost song. She has the three B's of a great song...brains, beauty, and **sigh** a boyfriend. I have always thought that there was some unspoken connection between the two of us...and who knows, there may have been. The one-line refrain is the exact sentence I said to her the moment I saw her after a long hiatus, the last meeting before I wrote this song. "Wow, I had forgotten how beautiful you are." It was roughly a year after I wrote Sprung (so around Fall of '05). The roadblocks, walls, and permission in this song refer to the boyfriend aspect of this tragic story and the final verse was my fleeting chance to be let into her heart. I hope my lovelorn poetry entertains you. (Half-sarcasm)

Insert Romance Here

The roadblocks count against us
The slurring counts for us.
Why can’t they tear this shit down?
Why can’t we stay bound?

Wow, I had forgotten how beautiful you are.

These walls are on fire with your cold
These feet freeze with your warmth
“May I?” I’m forced to ask.
But the answer is always the same

Wow, I had forgotten how beautiful you are.

This fateful day in summer,
This one chance to be what I’m not.
Here’s the hook:

Wow, I had forgotten how beautiful you are.

Sprung

2008-12-19T12:04:00.004-05:00

This song was also written in the Summer of 2004. It was after me and the boys had graduated (except for the ones that hadn't graduated yet or had already graduated, Greg and Mark, respectively). I wanted to write a poem that encapsulated how I felt about the most amazing Summer of my life. So I named the song "Sprung," you know, past tense of Spring...clever right? There are some very fun things I placed into this song.

The entirety of the verses were for my best friends, the Boys. We used to participate in all sorts of recreational drugs. And that summer was the first time, we had ever done mushrooms. So the lines about tripping and LSD (which we had not done yet) were about that. The final verse has 'easter eggs' hidden in it. It has references to the original members of the RBT and I believe they are in order in which they were bought...Doc, Scarface, Mr. Bill, Thumper, Lone Ranger, and Dino. Can you find them?

And finally, they most important thing about this song was the only unaltered line of the chorus. "Your heart burns a whole through my chest." The thing about this song is that it is an homage to that summer, and during that summer, everything I did had an underlying crush on one girl...I will call her A-S. So this song/poem does just that, accents my friends, but eludes to A-S. Actually, there are a couple more songs and things I wrote about her. One piece I wrote was a love note to her (it will be posted later). Well, that is enough rambling.

Sprung

The grass sticks to your back.
Hand to hand combat.
Stumble through weeks, through months
I’d take this trip again.

Your heart burns a whole through my chest.
Is this what LSD is?

The stench of past ruined your house.
Running, but taking.
We all touched solitary, but never were.
I’d give it to you in a double heartbeat.

Your heart burns a whole through my chest.
You have more music?

No doctor needed, these scars will heal tomorrow.
Oh no, these ears won’t ever hear your laughter.
Loneliness? Is that a question?
Memory grows ever near to extinction.

Your heart burns a whole through my chest.
Who thought I’d remember it?

The Last Reason I Had to Spend Time

2008-12-15T12:08:00.003-05:00

This song was written in the Summer 2004. When Scott and I went with my family to Crystal Lake, Michigan, we used to sit on two separate, parallel docks only 50 feet from each other. After 'power-smoking' we would sit on our respective docks and listen to music or do whatever. It was a nice private stoned time. Anyways, I was listening to a lot of Radiohead and a little bit of Spitalfield. The way I started writing this song is: what does water think of humans? Do they enjoy our company or is it a more cynical approach? Well, I chose cynical.

I always thought the feel of this song would be (if music were set to it) soaring vocals and a slower more melodic guitar part. Maybe even just vocals and guitar. Well, here it is:

The Last Reason I Had to Spend Time

Call Me a murderer?
Steal my children, I dare you.
I see the evil sparkle at the back of your eye.

Extensions of greetings,
Shake my hand, I dare you.
Spit on me, thrash me, and take me away.

Funny "haha," how it all turns away, huh?
The power grabs your one being.

You crave arsenic in your heart
as I long for feet in my head.

You think it's all cut and dry?
Or is your soul dry?
I know the rest of you isn't.

Try it. Try it. Try it.
You're just like me.
You're just like me.

Irresistibly Worship Forever

2008-12-14T01:56:00.004-05:00

This is the last of the HRUNC-era scribblings (unless I find some things or get them from RJ). I was listening to more of the later AFI and even some Eve 6. They were always into homonyms and reuse words in a different context. That is where the 'concentration' line comes from. I don't really like this song. It feels like I had time, a small idea for words, and Eve 6. Not so happy with it. Well, here it is:

Irresistibly Worship Forever

Your look allied darkness
You looked through my being, only
Finding the deepness, until
You revealed it, exposing

I’m hoping your voice burns through my ears
I wouldn’t have to feel your deceit
Too bad, your concentration wasn’t concentrated

The vernacular shows nothing more
The mind behind the man implodes
Feelings are potent
And I, I am here

I’m hoping your voice burns through my ears
I wouldn’t have to feel your deceit
Too bad, your concentration wasn’t concentrated

Radiate breaks the darkness
Freeing me from the void

One Thousand Reasons

2008-12-12T14:26:00.003-05:00

This song was written about the same time as the other two (circa 2002). It was about the same girl as "Anger and Acrimony." I guess, she was my first muse. This song is about trying to search myself for ONE good reason to do what I was doing. I was terrified at what could happen. And when I looked past the fear, I found one thousand of them. Originally, the number 1000 came from the conversation that sparked this song. As we were lying under the stars on a playground, she asked me, "how many stars do you think we can see?" To which I replied, "Exactly a thousand."

One Thousand Reasons

Glistening when nothing will
The hope that breaks through the mystery
What can happen? Only to diminish.
Accomplishments show naught.

The winding puzzle of the ever glory
Asphyxiate on the site.
Choke the air in awe.
Find an outlet, exploit it.

Still the light and impede the darkness
Sharpen your eyes with the impending sadness
One thousand reasons to lie down
One thousand reasons to let go

Anger and Acrimony

2008-12-11T22:55:00.004-05:00

This song was written right around the same time as "In a Perfect World." It has the air of earlier AFI (as opposed to IAPW being from the more "Sing the Sorrow" era). The anger and verocity of the lyrics. I was drinking straight gin then because I thought I was cool and had real problems, but this song was mainly about the fact that to make a move on a girl, I had to get drunk with her first. Psh, High School, what a crazy innocent time?!

One of my favorite lines in this song was "This war is waged over useless land." I couldn't win her heart and frankly, I didn't know if I wanted it or if it was all just 'useless'. Enjoy.

Anger and Acrimony

Consuming as my belligerent self takes over.
Assumptions of placidness
Militancy runs through these porrous veins
Quarrelsome, I reach for the burning desire
Out.

Aggressivly, I’m shut down.
Burst to life as to your surprised, blind self
This war is waged over useless land.
Land that will never be walked on again
Dead.

We are the calmless one.
Come and be shown the heavenly purgatory
We are the calmless one.
Ride down the rage to us.

They hear the tranquil building, as we are swept away.
Forming to a new molding, a new type of day.

In a Perfect World

2008-12-11T22:41:00.003-05:00

This was one of the first lyric sets I ever wrote and I wrote this song when I got back from a church work trip in the summer, oddly enough. I was listening to mainly AFI then. They talked a lot about the thought of 'disassociation' or being freed from yourself. I was big into the synonyms and based this sing almost solely on imagery.

It was about a dream I had. The dream was just a beautiful landscape of just a sunset over a field. It was just a flash in my mind, but I remembered the scene when I awoke the next day. And I thought about the visual battle light to dark (and vice versa) with each other. The whole title was originally, "Passed Out in a Perfect World," but I figured the 'Passed Out' wasn't necessary to the image I was trying to put out by the words.

In a Perfect World

Standing
Tulips of the marked
Fighting
Light to Dark
Sweeping
The line draws the battle field
It swallows me whole as it ends

The scene gets thinner through the eyes of night
Disassociate the feeling of consciousness
Joyous memories swirl
And the time has come

Swimming
Fields of gray
Changing
Salutations to the day
Signing
To the perfect way of closing
What once was, now decays to falling

The scene gets thinner through the eyes of night
Disassociate the feeling of consciousness
Joyous memories swirl
And the time has come

Dispel the dew
Beseech the good
Enthrall the open-minded
Sing the new
Vacate the old
Poison the pure
Purify the unclean
Show me life

The scene gets thinner through the eyes of night
Disassociate the feeling of consciousness
Joyous memories swirl